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The Right Kind of Love

Today was stressful. You know those days that start out badly and expand? Today was that day. It started out well, I woke up just a tad late. Moving through my morning motions just small things happened here or there. However, I just had that feeling. That feeling that says something is slightly off. I should have known. Listen to your instincts is easy advice to give but sometimes hard advice to follow. I should have just gone back to bed and slept until tomorrow. The first problem of the day hit about 6:30 am. The next came shortly after. By about 9:00am what had been a small amount of problems had hit dumpster fire levels. A blazing, raging, dumpster fire that also smelled bad. Good Lord. All morning it was, “Hey, can you help me with… Hey, I’ve got a problem…Hey I can’t figure this out can you look at this….Hey did you get that thing done yet….No? Why not…. We’ve got another problem here…Hey I can’t find my toy can you find it? Oh wait that last one was from my 7 year old. I got it confused because it felt like everyone needed my constant attention. It is ok when it is coming from him. The questions and need for help at work is also normally ok. Today it just wouldn’t stop coming.

At lunch, I drove home to sit in the relative peacefulness that is my home and told my husband about the craziness that was today. We are currently in the middle of deep cleaning our home and getting ready to remodel. Before I left to head back to work, I listed off the things I would take responsibility for when I arrived back at home. Driving back into the fray, to the ten million questions and not being able to get any of my own work done, I longed to be at home in my comfy clothes. I didn’t want to do anything at all. I got out of work as quickly as I could and got home ready to do my projects. I walked in the door and everything was already done. My husband, knowing about my annoying day, had already taken care of everything. He asked me what else had been on my list of things to do. When I told him he had already accomplished everything I was going to do and that I could get other things done he said,” I didn’t do all of this just so you could find other things to do, relax, write and have a good night.”

My entire day took an immediate turn. I am so grateful to him and all of the things he does. He pushes and inspires me, and I can’t express enough how important that is to a lifelong procrastinator. This blog wouldn’t even exist if he hadn’t pushed me and believed in me. He has been the best stepfather to my children. My youngest had a problem with pronouncing his “th” properly and my husband worked with him until it was no longer a problem. When my youngest asks how to spell something and I’m on the verge of just telling him, my husband makes him sound it out until he gets it. When my youngest is about to do something and I move to do it for him, my husband stops me and says, “He’s got this let him do it.” Then my youngest does the thing that I didn’t think he knew how to do at this age and I am floored once again. He is teaching my oldest about computers, and gave him one to take apart and put back together. There are so many examples I could list. He is invested in this family and making all of us (including himself) better and I am so grateful for him. This is one way people show love. He doesn’t buy me presents or flowers or give gushy sentimental letters or posts on social media. He loves me in a quiet way and for me the best way. He actively shows me through actions that he cares even when he’s not great at telling me all the time. Actually, I guess he is telling me just in his own way. I’ve had relationships that were big and flashy with the gushiness and those were mostly lies and self serving. I find that this kind of love is what I personally need and want. We are by no means perfect and definitely have our own problems, but overall this is good.

Ps. I just read blog post to him. When I was done, I asked him how it was. He looked at me and said, “Honestly I zoned out in the middle of it but I got the basic gist. Love you too” :)

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