Party Time Blues

Every year for my birthday for a long time now, I throw myself a party. This has gone on since other people stopped planning parties for me. By people, I mean mom and dad. My parties no longer include sleepovers, presents, cards or that ever fading but ever present hope that my parents had finally gotten me a horse like I had always wanted. They have ranged from 1-3 people watching movies and devouring entire pizzas on our own, to birthdays that I can’t even hope to remember after my 12th shot of whatever people were trying to buy me, to karaoke, to what has become my absolute favorite thing. The adult house party. The planning is easy. Tell people a few weeks before. The kids go to their grandparents. Remind my friends a week ahead of time. Remind them again the day before. I order pizza, I buy alcohol and then the party commences. There are board games, there is rock band, and there are most of my favorite people in the world localized into one place. I jump around from room to room, making sure everyone is having a great time. I love this. Laughing with my friends and oddly enough feeling like I’m in my twenties again.

Last year, I was tired. Last year I just didn’t have the party in me. I looked at my husband and said, “Just not this year. I just want a quiet birthday. Next year we will have a party”. That was in 2019 when 2020 seemed like a brand new shiny adventure filled with possibilities. Instead we have a year filled with apocalyptic nuances and the hits just keep on coming. (Mysterious seeds from overseas? Is this the latest nonsense I am seeing? My husband swears that the next big thing will be the discovery of a giant sea creature that will terrorize the land. Let’s face it, it is 2020 and that is a very real possibility. Maybe it’s Nessie’s year?) Suddenly I find myself longing to be able to throw a party. I want that laughter, I want that comradery, and I want to see the faces of my friends in person. I want to hug all of the awesome people in my life and tell them how much I’ve missed them. I want all of those things but…… but I simply won’t do it. Have I seen family during this time? Yes I have. I have not seen any of my friends in person (with the exception of work friends) since this all started. I am social distancing my little heart out. If I still had the option to work from home, I would. I find myself wishing I had had that damn party last year. I want to play Telestrations, I want to drink and play Rockband, and I want us to tell each other all of the hilarious stories from the times we have spent together. I want to laugh until I cry. I want to put Livin on a Prayer on, turn it up to 11 and sing at the top of my lungs with all of my friends and family.

Alas that was not to be this year. Maybe next year? Either way put on your favorite song, turn it all the way up and enjoy your favorite song for my birthday this year.

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